DISQUS

admin · 1 year ago

I asked a fat kid if he wanted cake

Long · 1 year ago

I was at the doctor's one time to have my blood tested. A noob phlebotomist didn't know what she was doing and scared me shitless until I fainted before her. My doctor came out to wake me up with the phlebotomist standing beside him and the first thing she said was: "next time you have to tell me when you're going to faint."

Rambo · 1 year ago

Do you mind if you put a bag over your face?

Rambo · 1 year ago

Are those real?

Rambo · 1 year ago

So I went to try a sweater on and this lady kept standing around trying to help me. Then she ask me the stupidest question I have ever heard, "do you work out?" , come on, even an one eyed goat from Mongolia knows, LIGHT WEIGHT

Rambo · 1 year ago

May I fart on your knee caps (aka Pineapple lid)?

admin · 1 year ago

WTF is a pineapple lid?!

admin · 1 year ago

Did you come too?

Long · 1 year ago

One time I was doing some wood working at home and I hammered my finger by accident and I squealed like a little girl...my mom comes and asks me "are you ok?" (thinking in my head - of course I'm not friggin ok) Why do people ask those questions?

admin · 1 year ago

How you doing dude ? (Turned out to be a her)

Rambo · 1 year ago

At my gym, the goodlife one at Hillcrest Mall. It is dirty and flithy there, with paper towels all over the sink and water/piss up to your ankles. As well, I found a needle in there. The lockers are dirt and smells like goat cheese and there is the famous EGG fart scent that keeps following you until you exit the change rooms. I complain to the mgr there and he told me "it is dirty because at this time this is the highest traffic time slot, we clean the washrooms in the morining" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE you YAU TAI? people pay 500 bucks a year and you clean the washroom once a day in the morning where there is no one?

Jimmy Ip · 1 year ago

What does Bean Bucket stand for?

fay mow · 1 year ago

Congratulations! When is your baby due? (turns out she was just very fat)

Long · 1 year ago

When are you getting married? (turned out she just broke up)

fay mow · 1 year ago

At work: "I'll do it"

Long · 1 year ago

You got an exam? (he's studying in a library..what else would he be studying for?)

Rambo · 1 year ago

I asked Nick if he wanted to go to the gym

Rambo · 1 year ago

A fat girl in my class was eating salad and I wanted to be friendly and break the ice for networking purposes. While we were eating, I intiated the conversation by "its good to eat more salad when you are on a diet" she replied "I am not on a diet, i already had a whole plate of meat"

admin · 1 year ago

I asked Ivan if he could reach his back

Mushroom slappy · 1 year ago

I asked this girl why she didn't shave her mustatche. Wrong move got my ass pounded Chyna style.

Long · 1 year ago

I asked subs if he could hear me loud and clear

Rambo · 1 year ago

Mushroom Slappy, I too notice that there is a growing population of girls with hair on top of their lips

Long · 1 year ago

There is a reason why they refer us as MANkind .... everyone will eventuallly turn into a man....

admin · 1 year ago

Told my prof that I have lice after he was wearing my hat

admin · 1 year ago

Asked if there was MSG at a Chinese restaurant

admin · 1 year ago

To Stripper: No, i don't want extra services

SUBS · 1 year ago

I told Long he will need a stronger eye glass prescription if he wanted to see his dick

Squirrel Masta · 1 year ago

A co-worker stopped by my desk today and said to me "This is a stupid question......" after hearing her question I answered "No, there is no such thing as stupid questions only stupid people" and gave her the most disturbed look. She hasn't come by ever since. STUPID!!!!!

Mushroom slappy · 1 year ago

At CB: "Can I get a discount?"

Long · 1 year ago

I asked my own kind (Chinese) to borrow money...

fay mow · 1 year ago

i go out to eat. the bill is $10. i put down a $20. the waiter asks "do you need some change?" wtf damn right i need some change mofo! gimme back $9.95!!!!!

admin · 1 year ago

Would you like fries with that? OBVIOUSLY!

MOW WONG JEE WONG · 1 year ago

i tried sticking my fingers into this viet girl's velvet underground and all I got was, "DO YOU THINK I AM EASY?"

Mushroom slappy · 1 year ago

I asked Ivan if he wanted to give a slappy

Rambo · 1 year ago

In highschool this girl ask me, "do you wanna see it". HELL YEA, DUH, what a bimbo

Long · 1 year ago

I asked a white dude if he could settle down

Rambo · 1 year ago

some HON GOK lui: Does my hye smell like a fishburger with extra tartar sauce?

admin · 1 year ago

"When it rains, does that mean angels are crying?" uhhhh.. NO! Are you WACK!?

admin · 1 year ago

"I can go on a month without beating it!"

admin · 1 year ago

Proclaimed that "Porn is for the weak!" What I really meant was "porn is the life source of all living creatures"

admin · 1 year ago

"Will you be my Valentine?" Really, how the hell can you become someone's Valentine? What does that even mean?!

RandomBean · 1 year ago

"My phone doesn't work! I just got it yesterday."
- What's wrong with it?
"It's not turning on. I charged it all night!"
- Ok let's see here... Well your battery is missing.
"I need to put the battery in?"
- ...Yes sir, you need to put the battery in to turn on the phone.

RandomBean · 1 year ago

"You're throwing in a free car charger and a case, right? Come on, I've been with your company for 20 years!" ---Seriously, why does everybody ask for a free freakin car charger and/or case when they are redeeming their points to get a phone? You're not even paying for the phone. Are you even going to use that ugly pleather case? Do you even have a car? And btw, our company isn't even 12 yrs old.

RandomBean · 1 year ago

"I HAVE to ask... Were you born in [some city]? Is that why your parents named you [some city]?" -- Oh, you really HAVE to ask? Why, are you naming your kids Vancouver / Toronto / Calgary?

RandomBean · 1 year ago

"...... Oh yeah, and i don't wash my condoms (because hydro=money), I just reuse them" -admin <--- my bf, who is not getting any[thing] for x'mas this yr.

Rambo · 1 year ago

"I'm not going to dai's for 3 more weeks and I will get a free piece of steak" ARE YOU BEENZ, how can you not hit airplanes left right and center for a piece of steak? 3 MORE WEEKS? wow when I heard that from XXXX, I was going to tiu his tow so hard my finger will come out of his see fut loong

admin · 1 year ago

"I'm a virgin" :|

Rambo · 1 year ago

"I never give hum lun" , sure she doesn't

Long · 1 year ago

Your face is in my way (<--I'm about to get smacked)

Long · 1 year ago

I asked my white friend if he was at a rodeo ....... he hung up on me after he said ye-ah!

Long · 1 year ago

I once asked a friend why we take a shit instead of leaving one...

... and then there was silence

admin · 1 year ago

....would you be mad if I told you I was really a man?

admin · 1 year ago

[from wife/girl friend] - "Do I look fat?" Honestly, If you're not ready for the answer, don't ask

Rambo · 1 year ago

At a bar/club in Vancouver: "whats up b iatc hes"

admin · 1 year ago

I challenge you to a dance off!

Rambo · 1 year ago

Can you train me one more time? I know its the 5th time but this time I will take notes down - EAT sHIT